Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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