You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
