Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
