so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
