it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
