I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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