that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
