worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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