I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
