How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
