I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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