Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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