My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
