nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
