What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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