if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
