he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
