is your mom at the bar?
If i come over, it means nothing
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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