did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
