College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
