As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
