i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
