Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
