who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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