I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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