walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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