I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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