So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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