Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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