I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize