I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the day after is always just damage control
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
