Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
