he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
