Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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