You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
