Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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