Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
