Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
