i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
