i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love having hate sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
