Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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