the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
