Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
