What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
are you so shy because you have an std?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
