I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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