I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
