I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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