DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
