The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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