i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
two words: eviction party
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize