I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize
