I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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