Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish there were birth control emojis
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
