Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had one of those small greek statue penises
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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