I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
