Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
