He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
