my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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