who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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