I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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