and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
